


I know you have a heavy heart.....I can feel it when we kiss....

by elizabella



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF, gryles - Fandom
Genre: Gryles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizabella/pseuds/elizabella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a prompt I saw on tumblr, Nick owns a record store, Harry is just fresh out a break up....love ensues.  It's not the actual prompt but it gave me the idea so thanks whoever it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know you have a heavy heart.....I can feel it when we kiss....

**Author's Note:**

> This probably wouldn't have gotten finished if it hadn't been for the matching cross tattoos today, so thanks you two idiots being adorable across the Atlantic.... 
> 
> I love team gryles....you people make me happy. Also our day in the sun at Nick's birthday is coming hold tight..
> 
> I punctuated this one properly...really hope you all like it and it gets read more. I love Nick a lot and that probably comes across in the sexy bits.... 
> 
> Finally....Lua by Bright Eyes is pretty much my favorite song....you should check it out.

Harry watched the curtains as they blew in the warm summer breeze, there was a small gap in them where he could see the hazy sun from his bed. He hadn’t left his little bedsit for 4 days and he realised he was going to have to venture out for some milk and bread as there was nothing worth eating at all. This had been a pattern for Harry for a few months now since Nate had left his life. Although they had never lived quite together, it was more a case of Nate crashing there most nights, he had still left quite a few items at the tiny studio, all of which Harry was reluctant to deal with. There were a lot of records, as Harry was the only one who had a working record player. Harry found himself drifting off into a memory of Nate smiling down at him as Harry lay on the floor on his back singing along to Otis Redding and Marvin Gaye, smiling with his dark hazel eyes and long dark hair that would tickle Harry’s chest as they kissed. Harry missed him. He missed being happy. He missed feeling like himself. His jolted back to sad reality as his phone went off, Niall’s face came up on screen, he slid to answer. “Alroight Harreh.....am djing tonight at The Endurance near Charing x tube. Am not taking no fer an answer...yer miserable and am nervous about this so come an support me okay??” Harry shifted to sit and and sighed. “I dunno Nialler....am pretty skint and..” Niall jumped in “cmon Haz....I get free pints for djing so am sure ah can buy you a few jars” ...Harry obviously wasn’t going to get out of this...”okay Niall what time?” ... “I start at 9pm...see you there love”. 

Harry & Niall were on the last year of their MA in Radio Production and Management course at University College of London. They had both scored a one day a week placement at bbc 6music which they were both loving, it was the only thing Harry was actually attending at the moment since the break-up with Nate. He had quit his waitering job at a DimSum place in central London and he was just keeping up with his seminars thanks to a stating “personal issues” and his dissertation really was not in great shape. Harry’s parents were fairly well off, and were paying his rent in his little flat just down the back next to the tiny park near the ‘Hawley Arms’ in Camden. He desperately needed to keep his shit together to get through uni, he was so passionate about music and even just a little taste at 6music had made him realise how much he wanted to produce music shows for people all over the world to listen to. The radio was such a personal style of media, so intimate, he spent most of his nights curled up in bed listening to shows on the graveyard shift with a cuppa, he was particularly psyched when Dev off R1 had played his request of that song by Passenger he so loved when he was feeling particularly low one recent night, radio was special. 

“2 bottles of Corona, a vodka tonic and a whiskey coke please mate” ....Nick looked around the bar as he waited for the drinks, he spotted at least 4 guys he had fucked in the recent past and sighed. One of them had been only a few weeks ago and he was staring over eagerly. Nick turned away from his gaze, emotionless expression. Either this was getting old or Nick was getting old and Nick would rather stick with the former. He spotted a young blonde haired boy setting up decks in the corner next to the jukebox as Aimee came up behind him, she hooked her neck over his shoulder and laughed “he’s straight darling”, “how the fuck would you know?” Nick passed her the vodkas. “Well I’m pretty sure I caught Laura that does my nails with his dick in her mouth at a party a few months back, he’s Irish and eager and an absolute sweetie” Nick rolled his eyes and made his way back to the table. 

A few hours on and Nick was really rather wasted, he went out for a fag and found himself without a lighter, he spotted a boy with curly hair sitting on the kerb in front of him. “Scuse me mate, could I borra yer lighter?”. The boy turned and Nick’s breath caught in his throat slightly, this boy was no older than 21 with maybe the most beautiful eyes Nick had ever seen, he handed over his lighter without a word. Nick lit up. “Ave I got summat on me face?” the boy looked concerned and oh the voice, like the sweetest warmest honey and oh shit “Oh no, just av had a few too many tequilas i reckon, thought I knew ya from somewhere, then with the accent and all”, Nick impressed himself with his ability to seem normal. Harry stood up “Oh well ah don’t think we’ve met, where ya from?” Nick smiled at the boy all toothy and fond “Oldham, and you?”, “ahm from Cheshire, a little village there, anyways better be getting back to ma mate, nice to meet ya...” Harry put his hand out and Nick shook it firmly “Nick, names Nick, and you?”, Harry dropped his hand and began walking back into the pub calling over his shoulder “Arreh Styles, nice to ave met ya mate”. Nick stood for a few moments not too sure what to think or do. Nick was never short of good looking boys to fuck, but this one was different somehow, Nick wanted to know what was causing such sadness in his eyes, “must be the tequila” he muttered. 

Harry ended up at a party of some American girl with shock orange hair due to Niall begging him to come along so he could see some Irish bird who was likely to be there. He found himself sitting alone in the kitchen with a bottle of malt whiskey staring at the wall when a voice startled him, “y’allright Arreh Stars, looking a bit fucking miserable sitting there”. Harry turned to see the guy from earlier, except now he was even drunker and even weirder. His quiff was drooping in his face and his hand kept slipping off the counter knocking him onto his elbow, it was almost slapstick if it wasn’t so sad. “It’s Harry Styles actually”. Nick looked him up and down and pouted, Harry thought he would almost be quite handsome if he wasn’t so wasted and annoying. Harry stood up to leave and as he turned to grab his jacket, Nick grabbed his arm a little more tightly than was normal and in the process knocked the whiskey bottle off the counter, as Harry moved forward to stop Nick from falling onto the broken glass, he himself ended up landing on his side hitting his head off the counter in the process, Nick landed right on top of him. “what the FUCK is your problem” Harry screamed at Nick who had gone ashen faced and was staring down at him through his fringe, “Sorry man...I’m so fucked up right now....jesus christ your arm”. Harry looked down to see red mixing with the straw colour of the whiskey on the floor, a large gash on his shoulder. He looked up to see Niall coming towards him shoving Nick out the way and picking Harry up, “I think you need a hospital buddy, what the fuck is going on here” Niall looked between them both. Harry made for the door, “just keep this lunatic the fuck away from me”. 

By day Nick managed a little record store in North London near to where he lived in Primrose Hill, it ticked over great and made a little money, Nick dad had been wealthy and he never really had to want for much, when his father had passed away he left everything to Nick, an only child, his mother had passed away when he was 7 years old. Nick had moved to London when he was 21, one year after his dad had passed away, he bought a basement flat in Primrose Hill with a nice small garden. He did it up with vintage knickknacks and an assorted renaissance style couches and chairs. He made a lot of friends through the record store, people in bands like Pixie, whose EPs he agreed to stock and like Colette, who would come and peruse the jazz section. They were Nick’s family now and over the past 8 years Nick had built a nice life for himself, of which he felt proud. Love was the one thing that eluded him, he avoided it, he convinced himself he didn’t need it, he had all the love he needed from his friends. He found love in songs and would often lie in bed reading into lyrics and imagining a love affair he would probably never have then curse himself for thinking those thoughts, cos that’s not what he wanted. Yes, Nick had the one night love of many boys and men, skinny indie boys, models with impossible angled faces...they’d stay the night and give him a release, let him touch and be touched and then disappear into the shadowy night. Recently Nick had noticed the feeling wasn’t what it used to be, something would be missing when he was lying in his bed alone, the smell of the last boy still on his sheets. He’d play the same song over and over on his headphones and stare at the ceiling realising the cliché he was becoming...

But me I’m not a gamble, you can count on me to split  
The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won’t exist.

Harry had managed to get a solid 10 hours sleep and awoke at around 2pm on Monday afternoon; it was much needed after spending the early hours of Sunday morning in A&E waiting to get stitches in his shoulder. His arm was still a little sore, but he felt better in general, guessing all the drama was something else to focus on aside from missing Nate. He looked over at the records and started piling them up, he knew some of them were worth a few quid as they were rare Pink Floyd and Joy Division EPs there. Harry did a quick Google search and decided on a few stores up near Chalk Farm tube station that bought vinyl. He chucked the ones he thought would be most valuable in his rucksack and headed off. It was a beautiful day and Harry thought how daft it had been sitting in his room all this time when he could have maybe sat in the park and moped, maybe he’d mope in the park this week, and maybe he’d spend more time at Uni this week too. 

It didn’t take Harry long to get to his first destination a small store on the main street next to an old style pub with benches outside and a little sandwich shop, it had a wooden old rickety front to it and was painted in lilac, the name was Sweet Jane Vinyl. Harry stepped into the store and no one was there, not even the owner. Harry wandered around and was really impressed by the range of genres of music. He had his back to the counter when he heard someone behind him, “sorry mate, was in the back sorting some stuff out can I....” Harry turned to see Nick, they both looked equally as shocked and Harry began to turn to leave “No fucking way, not you again”. Nick was quick to follow Harry and put his hand out to stop him leaving the shop, his long fingers touching where the dressing was on his shoulder, “owww fuck”. Harry spun to face Nick who now looked utterly mortified, “was that me that caused that on Saturday?” his face now gone a deep shade of red. Harry took a good look at Nick in the sunlight pouring in, he had freckles on his nose and a little pock mark left of his nose, hair impossibly high on his head, eyes light green with caramel at the centres, “Yes you caused that, 8 stitches and a 4 hour stint in A&E so thanks”. They both stared at each other, Nick broke the gaze and sighed looking back at Harry, “I’m so sorry, I was a total arsehole on Saturday, I don’t know what I was doing”, he ran his hand through his hair and said in a much quieter voice “dunno what I’m doing in general these days, I didn’t mean to hurt you”. Harry sighed Nick seemed genuinely embarrassed, “well look, we all get fucked up sometimes, I just wanted to try and sell some of my ex’s vinyl, can you help me with that then I’ll be off?” 

As it turned out Nate had a sterling eye for rarities. Nick was overjoyed at the collection Harry had brought, “for the Joy Division, Porcupine Tree & Pink Floyd records I can give you £400, this shit is really really rare, your ex musta really fucked you over huh?” Harry looked at his boots, “can you just give me the cheque please”, the last person he wanted to be discussing his love life with was this guy. Nick had to go to the bank to physically get the cash as he didn’t have enough on the premises, they made the short walk up the street, Harry noticed how tall Nick was slightly taller than him, he had a little sorta girlish swagger when he walked which made Harry chuckle slightly, “what’s so funny” Nick turned to look at him as they turned the corner to the bank entrance, “Oh. Erm. Nothing. Just this is. Its a bit odd meeting you again like this that’s all”. 

After Nick had handed over the cash they stood in the street awkwardly, “well I guess I’ll be heading home, em, thanks again for being honest about the records, you coulda told me they were worth 100 quid and I’d have taken it”. Nick looked at Harry, he had green eyes, not just green eyes but green, green, greenest eyes, like bloody jewels sparkling in the sun. “Listen, I’m pretty much done for the afternoon, can I buy you like an apology drink?, I feel awful about your arm” Harry looked at Nick for a moment, “umm, I need to go home and get some uni work done to be honest, I’m so far behind”. Nick looked disappointed, “oh okay, well for what it’s worth I am sorry about your shoulder and all, I’m not always an arsehole when I’m out and about”. As Nick turned and said bye Harry stayed rooted to the pavement and watched him walk away, long limbed and stupid hair sticking up, denim shirt open over a white tshirt and flapping at his sides as the breeze caught him....”NICK” he shouted, Nick turned and stopped, cocking his head to look at the younger boy. “what time do you work ‘til on Friday?”, “usually 6ish, why, do you have some more records?”. Harry shoved his hands in his pockets, “nah, but I’ll get you here at 6 and we can go for that apology drink”. Nick flashed a big grin then tried to keep in under control, “alright Stars, see ya Friday”.

Harry awoke on Friday with wet knickers, something that hadn’t happened to him since high school, he remembered dreaming about Nick’s long fingers and legs wrapped around him, he went into the kitchen and put the pants in the washing machine, closed the door and tried to forget about it. 

Nick took Harry to a bar across from the record shop. The bar was ye olde as Nick liked to say, me likey ye olde pubby, was actually what he liked to say. Because he was ridiculous and his mouth moved faster that his brain would like. They were sat in a little booth in the busy bar with after work Friday folks and were almost finished a bottle of merlot, Harry wasn’t much of a red wine drinker, but he didn’t want to look like an idiot asking Nick to get him a long vodka, like a 16 year old in the pub for the first time, Harry liked long vodkas, they tasted good. He felt a tad merry after only 2 glasses and he could feel his cheeks hot. As it turned out Nick had a friend who was an assistant producer at Radio 1, Harry had told Nick all about his course and his placement at 6music. Nick had said he could hook Harry and this guy Finchy up. Harry thought that was incredibly kind of Nick and smiled at him with a big goofy smile, realising he hadn’t felt that smile in a long time. Nick talked a lot, he was animated and interesting, and interested in what Harry had to say. Nick had long fingers that moved constantly when he was describing things. He told Harry a story about the time Finchy had got him into a Brits after party and fell over in front of Rihanna and carpet burned his chin and sprained his wrist, Harry barked out his embarrasing laugh and turned a crimson shade of pink, Nick thought it might have been the weirdest thing he’d ever seen and just as they creased up in giggles harry felt a hand on his shoulder. “Hazza, what you doing round here bit fancy for you yeah?” Nate was looking down at him and Harry’s stomach began to knot over and over, “Em just had some errands to run, em, so yeah”. Nick noticed Harry’s chin trembling and put 2 and 2 together. “Well better get back to Rob, good to see ya Hazza”. Harry watched as Nate walked over to a tall, dark haired older man maybe late thirties, and nuzzle into his neck”. Harry stood up, “I have to....I am...need to..sorry..thanks for the wine” he walked as slowly as his head, wanting to bolt the fuck out the door, would let him, he could feel his eyes brimming with tears and as he walked out into the evening sun he breathed heavily and felt a hand on his forearm. “So your ex is a massive dick, no wonder you sold those records”, Harry looked at the ground tears rolled down his face, “that’s who he was fucking behind my back” he said quietly. Nick put his forefinger under Harry’s chin and tilted his face upwards “you mean Russell Brand after a breakdown, not a patch on you Stars, he must be out of his fucking mind”. Harry smiled at that “thanks, ahm sorry I must look like a right idiot just now, ahm gonna go home”. Nick ruffled Harry’s hair “nope, you’re coming to mine and I’ll make you some food, not going home to sit and cry alone over that fucking idiot, I only live a 10 minute walk”. 

Harry stood in the hall of Nick’s flat, “So your flat is fucking incredible, like these are worth a fortune”, just at that Nick was saved by having to explain himself by a Jack Russell leaping at Harry. “Holy fuck, who are you?” Harry lifted the dog up holding her away from his body as it wriggled around. “Oh Puppy meet Harry, Harry this is puppy, she’s my other half”. Nick lifted her out of Harry’s hands and cradled the dog like a baby speaking to her in a very weird high pitched voice, “are you a doggg....are you a dog what lives with me?” Just when Harry thought it couldn’t get any stranger Nick began to dance with the dog and began singing ‘Something Stupid’ to her. Harry thought it might just be the best thing he’d ever seen. 

Nick made Spanish omelettes and they ate them and listened to the radio, they talked about everything and nothing, but not once did Harry think about Nate again that evening. As it got towards midnight Nick eventually got the courage up to put his arm around Harry, who appeared to be close to sleep, Nick didn’t usually need courage to even kiss or fuck someone, but something about this boy brought out the after school special in him. He held his breath as he gauged Harry’s reaction, which thankfully was to lean into Nick and proceed to fall asleep his head drifting onto Nick’s chest. Nick sat there for a long time scared to move in case he disturbed this sleeping beauty, and he really was a beauty, a beauty that stretched further than his face and lean body, beautiful in the way he spoke slowly and sometimes forgot the end of his sentences, beautiful in the way he seemed very clumsy, beautiful in the way he seemed to like Nick as just Nick Grimshaw, guy who Oldham who sings to Frank Sinatra songs to a Jack Russell. 

Harry woke up to find he’d been tucked in with lots of nice blankets and a pillow put under his head, his trainers had been taken off and a glass of water left on the table beside the couch. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so peacefully, great couch he though. There was a quiet cough behind him and he turned to see Nick standing in sweat bottoms and an old faded Nike t-shirt, “Morning, did you sleep ok, I. Erm. I didn’t want to wake you, you looked well, cosy I guess” Harry smiled up at Nick, he looked nice in the morning time, hair less quiffy and glasses on. “slept real well thanks for letting me stay”. They beamed at each other and Nick felt himself blush, “I have to walk puppy, do you wanna come”. 

One hour and an ice-cream each later cos “ice-cream for breakfast is amazing” bloody youngsters Nick though as he rolled his eyes but actually thoroughly enjoyed his cornetto, they were walking back off the heath when Nick bent down to tie his lace, as he straightened back up he felt Harry take the leash out his hand and then push him back against a tree head knocking into the bark slightly, he saw green eyes coming at him and then stop a few inches from his, “erm, I’ve decided to kiss you, but now I am thinking do you wanna kiss me cos like I...” Nick closed the gap and Harry’s mouth tasted like chocolate and boy, his lips were even more delicious than Nick imagined. Nick literally felt weak in the knees as Harry’s opened his mouth wider and deepened the kiss, reaching to put his hands on Nick’s hips pushing him more firmly against the tree. After a little while Harry broke away and dipped his forehead against Nick’s chest breathing deeply, Nick took the leash back off Harry hoping wouldn’t notice how much his hands were shaking and put his finger on Harry’s chin to tilt him to look into his eyes. Harry was giving him one of his massive dopey smiles and Nick shot back one of his own massive dopey smiles.

Nick and Puppy walked Harry to the tube station, Harry stopped before the destination, before he said anything Nick handed him his iPhone “put your number in, I can. I, do you want...” Harry laughed and took the phone “I want” he laughed and typed in his number. Nick couldn’t believe the effect this boy was having on him, he was a literal 15 year old girl, and he liked how it made him feel.

Nick went out to see Pixie’s band that night with Gellz & Aimee, they stood at the bar watching them play when a very pretty, tall, long haired indie type was trying to get Nick’s attention, Gellz looked puzzled as Nick declined to engage in conversation with him and ignored her looks as he stared at the stage. “Literally the first time in ever you have knocked back someone in ages and he is fucking mega hot, what gives Grimshaw?” Nick felt himself blush. “are you blushing, you are, what the. You like someone don’t you?”. Nick told Gillian about Harry, only enough to get her to keep her trap shut. “my my Grims, I never thought I’d see the day” Of course Aimee had to tell Gellz about how Nick had made an absolute arse out himself at her party, “he looks so fuckable, he’s all big pouty lips and the hair, jesus, not surprised you’re rocking some love heart eyes pal” Nick wished he’d never mentioned it, Gellz piped up “invite him to my birthday party next weekend, tell him to bring some pals, can always use some more hot teens in my life” Aimee doubled over laughing and flipped them both off as he walked outside for a fag, he pulled out his phone....

Harry was still at 6music doing some work on his dissertation when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He saw the unknown number come up with a text and nearly dropped the phone as he read the message  
Hi it’s Nick Grimshaw...off of the park yesterday and other places...I was wondering would you want to maybe come to my mates birthday party next weekend?  
Harry thought about playing it cool but decided he was too much of a geek for that and replied. Nick felt his pocket buzz before he’d even got back inside the venue..  
Stars – Sounds good...send me the address and stuff...should I bring anything?  
Nick G – It’s a big party, so if you wanted to bring a couple of mates of whatever.  
Stars – Cool, may bring my mate Niall, the one you met the night you got me glassed :P  
Nick G – Heyyyyy....how much wine am I gonna have to ply you with before you forgive me?  
Stars – Maybe another few strolls in the park will work...;)  
Nick stated at his phone dopily laughing to himself, Aimee twisting his nipple jolted him back to orange haired annoying reality.....

It had been a good week for Nick, he had gone to some art opening thingy with Aimee and Pixie, mainly for the free champers and the chance to wear his new tan 3 piece suit and Kenzo vans, he was feeling like quite the G, he kinda wanted Harry to see his outfit, but it was way too dressy for Gellz birthday party, damn it. Definitely wearing the Vans thought, he thought, Vans, skinny black jeans and white t-shirt....ooh and black biker jacket..Nick looked over at Puppy and lifted her up to lie in his lap on the couch, “hello baby, are youu a dog that lives with an idiot who likes a boy?”. Puppy licked his arm “do you live with someone who is about to try on a lot of outfits for when he sees the boy he likes?” Puppy stretched out and Nick put his head back on the couch and laughed out loud. 

Harry went for a drink with Liam who was a sound engineer on his placement at 6music, he had helped out on Radcliffe & Maconie’s 1 – 4 slot and Nile Rogers had been the guest, hehad text Nick as he knew how much he liked Chic. Nick had been very excited about it and Harry couldn’t wait to give Nick the signed vinyl he had got Niles to sign. Liam and Harry had become good friends over the past 5 months, Liam had also recently split up with his ex girl, they’d found themselves leaning on each other a little bit, just talking through stuff. Liam wasn’t afraid of talking about his feelings and Harry appreciated a person like that. They nursed their pints and chatted “so, I’m going to this birthday party, this guy Nick’s pal, I reckon there will be like fit older girls there, I think you should come with me and Nialler?”. Liam frowned, seriously, those eyebrow are incredible Harry thought, “Yeah?” Liam said, “Nick eh? .. you like him huh?”. Harry rolled his eyes and punched Liam lightly, “yes I fucking like him, but come with me, moral support” .....”okay, wanna meet this guy, and I guess hot older woman can’t hurt can they?”. 

Nick awoke on Saturday around noon feeling exhausted with a tingling on the right side on his head, “FUCKK” he shouted at the wall and lay back down, Nick’s migraine’s didn’t happen often, but when they did it tended to be game over. Having hardly slept most of the night he thought the best bet would be to take some of his mega super migraine tablets and get some sleep, no way was he missing this party (Harry). He shot off a text to Aimee –  
Grims – migraine is happening....popping some fuck off painkillers and hope I can sleep for a while before the party.  
Aims – I left some sleeping pills in your bathroom cabinet from when I stayed with you, proper American fuckers, they’ll help darling...need your beauty sleep if you want into curlys pants :P xx  
Nick groaned and went into the bathroom, popped a couple of the sleeping pills and a couple of the painkillers....he drifted off wondering what kind of pants Harry wore....

Harry, Liam & Niall arrived at the party around 9pm, Harry had decided that wasn’t too keen and wasn’t too fashionably late, note that he was ever fashionable at much, although he had kinda dressed up in tights black jeans and black Chelsea boots with a white t-shirt and his smart blue blazer with the silky collar. Harry introduced himself to Gellz, the flat was busy already with lots of cool looking people with friendly smiles and hellos, there was a barbeque going in the garden, and Niall and Liam went off the find some drinks. Harry wandered trying to find Nick. 

Niall found Harry an hour or so later, sitting in the garden, behind a large tree, he handed him a cocktail he’d got off a hot girl who he intended to find in a bit. Harry took the drink and looked up at Niall with sad eyes, “I can’t believe he invited me to a party, then didn’t turn up” , “did you text him” Niall asked, “yep, he’s ignoring me”. At that point saw Aimee coming towards him, looking very drunk “Harolllldd” she drawled, where’s Grimshawww?”. Harry stood up feeling very awkward, “well, not with me, so...I thought you would know?”. Aimee’ phone buzzed and as she read the message she seemed to come to at that point and looked very serious....”Oh fuck”. Aimee looked Harry in the eyes, “it’s my fault, he gets terrible migraine’s and I told him to take sleeping pills, he says he is really ill and I know he’ll be mortified now you’re here, fuck I’d better go over and see he’s okay”. Harry was halfway across the garden without realising; “I’m going to make sure he’s okay” he was out almost out the door before Aimee could reply. 

Nick woke to a knocking sound, he must have passed out again, and he’d been puking a lot since waking up the last time, fucking Aimee, fucking America and their drugs for maniacs. Maniacs like fuckin Aimee, he thought. The knocking got louder and Nick limped through the lounge to the door, Puppy had peed on the floor and Nick felt awful, this was not good. He opened the door with his hand in his hair, a black vest on and his boxers and oh god Harry Styles was standing in the doorway looking very worried and looking like he’d just stepped out of bloody GQ. Nick felt himself sway, saw Harry step quickly towards him then nothing......

Nick came back around and felt a body behind him, he was noted he was lying on his bed with a body behind him holding a wet cloth on his head, he tried to sit up and was held firm “Nick, it’s okay just relax, I’ve got you, how are you feeling?” Harry was sitting up behind Nick and was nestled between Harry’s legs head backing onto his chest. It felt nice, to be looked after. “I’m so embarrassed, passing out, I should never have taken those sleeping pills” Nick let his head rest right back against Harry who placed his big hand over Nick’s chest, “I thought you just hadn’t turned up, felt like a bit of a dick”, Nick sighed “Harry, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week, please know I wouldn’t have done that, I was planning my bloody outfit on Tuesday”. Harry laughed and kissed the top of Nick’s head “Can I ask you something? who is Jane?” Harry felt Nick’s body tense up, “why?” Nick asked “You kept saying her name in your sleep”. Nick felt hot tears prick his eyes and couldn’t hold them in, tears ran down his face as he told Harry all about his mother and the car accident that had taken her from him when he was only 8 years old, she had been killed instantly protecting Nick, who escaped without a mark on his body. “sometimes I just wish she was here, like today, I couldn’t get up from the bathroom floor and sometimes I just want someone to be here you know to pick me off the bathroom floor, fuck...I just ...I’m tired of being alone and I want you to know ...I want to be in love..”. Harry held onto Nick’s body tighter as he babbled doped up sweet and weird things and kissed his temple “I’m here okay, I’m not going anywhere, just sleep you’ll feel better for it tomorrow”. Nick felt himself falling asleep again. 

Nick awoke feeling almost human again, he got up to an empty flat and a note on the counter ‘morningggg.....took puppy out for a big walk, tidied the flat and got you bread, fruit and juice....my mum is visiting so I have to head home just now....text me when you’re awake...need to know you’re feeling better....H xx’. Nick didn’t think he had ever understood what swooning had meant until he read that note...and did he swoon...like a fucking damsel in distress. He scrambled for his phone.  
Nick G – Hi....thank you so much for last night...feel like a right idiot....I’m taking you out for dinner...Thurs?  
Starz – Oh Hiiii  ... you’re not an idiot...well a bit of an idiot....crazy pill popper. Dinner.... Like a date you mean? .x.  
Nick G – If I say yes to that do you still want to go?  
Starz – Want to go more if you say yes to that .x.  
Nick G – Yes I’m asking you on a date  
Starz – where? .x. 

Thursday came along and Harry was waiting outside Chalk Farm tube, he had worn his tightest black jeans, brown boots and a black shirt. He felt quite nervous, but in a very nice nervous kinda way. Nick on the other hand had changed outfits 4 times and felt like a sweaty mess as he walked towards the station. He had opted for a black t-shirt, his tight blue jeans with ripped knees and Nike air max, his hair was behaving itself, one saving grace. He couldn’t look any worse than he had the last time, fainting in his underpants. He saw Harry before Harry saw him, he looked utterly gorgeous, those long legs and hen toes made him want to turn around and run away at speed, purely due to the feelings they were giving him in his heart. Harry saw Nick and fell over his feet as he turned to walk towards him, cursing himself, “fucking clumsy harry” he muttered. Harry went in for a hug and Nick went in for a kiss on the cheek, so they found themselves awkwardly with arms too high for a hug and started giggling. “Great start to the evening” Nick laughed looking at Harry rolling his eyes with a big toothy grin. 

Dinner was lovely and they talked and talked and laughed and laughed. Nick joked that he had fainted due to Harry looking like sin in jeans that tight and Harry explained they were so tight he had wanted to take them off but “imagine waking up me lying in your bed cradling you in my pants”, they both cackled. The had drank a few bottles of wine and were a little merry, Nick insisted on paying the bill, but Harry more so insisted on going halves. The walked out into the summery air and Nick suddenly felt nervous, “Did you want to come to mine for another drink and see Puppy?” Harry smiled, “yeah course, love that dog”. As they began walking up the street Nick turned to Harry “I’m not just asking you back cos. You know. Like actually to see my dog and have a drink...” Harry interrupted him “shut up Nick”. They walked in silence as Harry took Nick’s hand. 

“How’d you afford this place, I mean sorry that’s not really my business, it’s just, it’s so posh round here” Nick explained about his dad owning many businesses and Nick inheriting a fair amount of cash when he died. “I’d still rather have him back than this flat though, you know” he looked at his feet. “I’ll make us a drink”. Nick opened a bottle of white and poured them each a glass. He turned with the glasses to find Harry standing behind him, Harry took the glasses out his hand and placed them on the counter and stepped into Nick’s space “can you kiss me please” Nick ran his hands through Harry’s hair and actually sighed out loud. Embarrassing, he thought. He ran his hands down Harry’s jaw and leant in to kiss those perfect pink lips. Harry leaned into the kiss and slid his tongue into Nick’s mouth first, they both opened to make the kiss deeper and wetter and Harry groaned deeply, Nick could feel his legs trembling and he could feel Harry’s heart pounding against his. Harry pushed Nick harder against the unit and slid his hands under Nick’s shirt running his hands up and over his chest pausing over his nipples. They stayed there for a while kissing, pressed against each other. Harry was the one to break away breathing heavily lips wet and pink. “Illegal” Nick said “You. That face. Illegal. They ought to ban people with faces like yours. My legs are shaking” Nick could have punched himself in the face, mouth quicker than brain. Harry chucked softly “you have quite a wonderful face yourself, I want to look at it a lot” They made their way over to the couch, Harry ending up Nick’s lap, they kissed hot and heavy, Nick’s head was swimming and he felt so lost with wanting Harry, but, he found himself pulling back. “Harry, I don’t want this to be just...you know....I...before you...can we just kiss some more”. Harry looked and Nick smiling...”of course, whatever you want, I mean, you’re not just a fuck to me either” They kissed some more, Harry breaking away this time “Nick, I’ll have to go home or I’m gonna start dry humping you like at school”. 

Nick thought he was doing the right thing, he didn’t know how to act around someone he wanted in more than just a sexual way, as Harry walked out the door he closed it over and began banging his head against it...he heard Harry on the other side “I can hear you banging your head against the door you fucking idiot, you’re not making any sense, I kno...” Nick cut him off, “I can’t wait, I want you so fucking bad, I think my dick is gonna fall off, it’s killing me”. He heard Harry laughing hard, “open the fucking door then”. Nick breathed in deeply and opened the door, Harry came at him lips cherry red from kidding, eyes glassy and fully dilated with lust.....”take me to bed please”. 

Nick took Harry’s hand and led him up the small hallway to his bedroom, he felt nervous and god he hadn’t felt like this about sleeping with someone since he was a teenager. Harry sat on the edge of the bed and held Nick’s gaze as Nick took off his Nike’s. Harry bit his bottom lip and looked Nick up and down like he wanted to devour him, breathing heavily. Harry could feel his hands trembling as he scooted back on the bed “want you so bad, so fucking bad, look at you” he managed to get out as now his lip was doing a weird trembly thing too. They stood for a minute just eyeing each other, Harry could see that Nick was very hard in his ridiculously tight jeans, as was Harry. Nick strode over to the bed quickly and climbed up Harry’s body, their mouths, tongues and teeth meeting ferociously meeting, it was hot and wet, and they were both breathing heavily as the kisses became quicker and filthier, licking into each other like their lives depended on it, in fact at this point, it kind of did feel that. So intense. 

Nick took Harry’s shirt off and thought he may pass away from the sheer beauty of Harry’s torso, he had a lot of strange tattoos, all black and well, so many. Nick decided that now was not the time to be asking why he had a huge fuck off butterfly on there. His skin was milky and he had beautiful definition, Nick ran his fingers firmly over his stomach and arms, digging his nails in slightly. Nick kissed wetly down Harry’s jawbone, neck and arms, sucking what were definitely going to be marks tomorrow, the very though of that made Nick even harder, if at all possible. He found Harry’s left nipple and lapped at it over and over with his tongue, Harry writhed underneath him panting and running his hands through Nick’s hair. By the time he got to the right nipple Harry’s hips were rutting up against Nick with venom. Nick pulled his shirt and trousers off and then got Harry’s jeans off. They were both wearing black briefs, both tenting out with their by now painfully hard cocks. Harry flipped Nick onto his back and moved down his body quickly, stopping to mouth at the head of his dick through his pants, getting it really wet with his tongue, Harry could taste the saltyness of pre-come through the fabric and moaned Nick’s name against him. Harry lifted Nick’s legs to frame his head and began sucking and biting at his inner thighs and lapped at his balls through his pants. Nick felt dizzy with lust and was finding breathing difficulty when he thought about how wet his dick and balls were just from Harry’s mouth, he hadn’t even taken his pants off he thought, jesus fucking christ he was not gonna last here. ..

Harry moved back up to capture Nick’s mouth again and held onto each others hands tight and flat against the mattress. Harry released a hand and leant down and held Nick’s cock firmly in his palm, just held it there looking into Nick’s eyes and leaning down to lick over Nick’s lips, lapped at his lips wetly outside and slightly inside just touching tongues. Harry began to fist him slowly, Nick arched off the bed and growled, “Harry, I wan..want you to fuck me”. Nick always topped during sex, however, since meeting Harry, his no 1 fantasy to wank to had been Harry being inside of him. It was odd and new, but now he was in a position to make it a reality, he was going for it. Harry stopped and looked at Nick wide eyed, “Oh. I. Nick” Harry’s ducked his hair falling over his face, Nick could see him blushing red.. “I ..I’ve never done that with a guy. I. I’m sorry you must think I’m ridiculous” Nick could think further from that, he thought Harry was brave for being honest, and gorgeous, and well “No, I mean if you don’t want me to be the first person you do this with I understand”. Harry leant down and took Nick’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucked it in, letting it off with a moan “I really want to Nick, want to see your face when I’m inside you, you’re so fucking beautiful” Nick felt his stomach dip and swoop and felt like if he died now that would be fine, cos here was this majestic creature wanting him to be his first in this way. Sweet christ. 

They both removed their underwear from each other, both equally impressed with each other in the flesh. “The size of that you’d better get me ready Haz” they both giggled. Nick flipped the lube open and gave it to Harry who slicked his fingers up never losing eye contact, he was on his knees in front of Nick who had his knees up, feet flat on the bed. Harry put one hand flat on Nick’s tummy and bent down to lick a wet stripe from Nick hole right up to the tip of his dick, Nick groaned deep “Haz, I don’t know how long I’m gonna last, I don’t want to come til you’re inside me”. Harry moaned at that and ran his hands through his hair in some sort of ecstasy, eyes closed. He forced his eyes open and entered his index finger into Nick, he eased it in and out slowly, licking his lips at Nick’s reaction, wide eyed and in awe, staring back at Harry. He entered another finger in and began to scissor them on the way out, feeling Nick stretching around them, he was so hot and tight inside, Harry had to hold the base of his dick to stop himself from getting any closer. “I can’t wait. Just get inside me Harry. I’m so close”, Harry breathed out sharply, and took the condom from beside Nick’s ankle rolling it on never losing eye contact, “want this so much Nick, I can’t, this is amazing, you are” Harry fell silent as he nudged at Nick’s entrance and pushed the tip in, he had Nick pulled up so his legs were wrapped around Harry’s back, legs so very wide for him. Harry pushed all the way in and gasped with the feeling “f.f.fuck” he stuttered voice wrecked and shaky, he looked uncertain for a flicker and Nick reached up to cup his face, “so good baby.....so fucking good inside me...thinking about this since we met.. “ Harry pushed right in balls deep and Nick felt so full of this boy he literally felt like he was seeing stars, he opened his mouth but no words would come out. Harry began to get a steady rhythm, not to fast but fast enough, he got his big hand around Nick’s dick and began to stroke him hard and steady. “harder..hard as you want...I can take it”. They were both slick with sweat as Harry held Nick’s head and kissed him over and over, pounding into him and jerking him matching his pace inside. They didn’t break eye contact the entire time and didn’t speak for a few minutes just an intense rhythmic state, heavy and hard but at the same time looking at each other so lovingly and delicately it seemed somehow not as rough or hard. Nick was the first to go, thick beads of white spurting up his chest, Harry thought how beautiful he looked, and as Nick dug his fingers into Harry’s arse cheeks feeling Nick clench around him, he could feel it building in his stomach and began thrusting erratically...babbling into his ear....”you’re so gorgeous when you come, look at your freckles....I...I’m...ah...I’m going to kiss every fucking one of them...Jesus....” and he came with Nick’s name on his lips biting down on Nick’s neck hands in his hair tugging gently. 

They came down for hours wrapped up in each other, talking and kissing slowly and smiled goofy smiles at each other, they ate toast and drank tea and listened to the radio until they fell asleep wrapped in each others arms. 

Nick was the first to wake, flickers of early morning sun dotting the room between the dark quiet of the room. Harry had his head on his chest lying on his side, legs and arms wrapped around Nick, he looked like an angel, a filthy angel with a massive dick Nick though and smiled, reaching to run his hand through Harry’s curls. Harry stirred and looked up at Nick through long lashes...”morning” he said face blushing slightly and Nick could feel his dick fattening up just from looking into those eyes, had never seen eyes like them....they kissed gently and sweetly, breaking away to look at each other, running hands all over each other. Harry practically did kiss every freckle, licking and peppering kisses over them on his shoulders, arms, nose, and forehead. Nick moved his hand down between them capturing both their cocks wrapping his long fingers around them tightly, he stroked gently for a while both of them enjoying the smooth and hard sensation of their cocks moving against each other. Harry moved to wrap his hand over Nick’s making the grip harder and began to stroke harder, holding their naked bodies so tight against each other they could hardly catch a breath. “so amazing....you’re so amazing” Nick gasped other hand running across Harry’s red lips, as he came hard and wet, as soon as Harry felt the slick of Nick’s come wet on his dick he was coming too, breathing into each others wet mouths looking and looking at each other. 

They showered together washing each others hair and laughing about nothing in particular, holding and caressing each other, Nick had never felt this, it was terrifying, but if it meant having this boy like this, he would be brave in falling.  
Harry had to go to a seminar and so left Nick hard after finding themselves unable to stop kissing at the front door, parting their bodies slowly bit by bit, until just Harry’s hand was drifting out of Nick’s grip as he walked out and up the steps. Nick’s phone vibrated a few minutes later ....

Stars – hiding my hard-on with my jacket is cool, I’m fucking freezing .x.  
Nick – I’ve never wanted to be a jacket so much in my life x

Nick fired off a text to Aimee....

Grims – Don’t mock me....I think I just had the best sex of my life....might be a bit gone on curly x  
Aims – Big cock?  
Grims – A gentleman never tells (yes, he nearly broke me in two)  
Aims - Hold up....you let him bone you???? You have truly gone Hallmark (gay porn) channel for this one...the horror!!!  
Aims - Happy for you baby ...meet at Endurance later? Irish is djing.

Harry was early to the pub, spotting Aimee at the back, Nick wasn’t finishing until 7, he was meeting someone about an import of rare vinyl. They got some Coronas and chatted, Aimee was quite something, ballsy but kind. Niall was djing from 8 til close, he arrived and joined them. They chatted about Uni and Aimee told them about her upcoming tour with the band she managed. Liam joined them after work and Harry noticed he deliberately took a chair next to Aimee, Harry made a wide eyed face at him and Liam made a zip your big mouth gesture at him when Aimee wasn’t looking and blushed. Harry couldn’t wait to see Nick, as it had been all of 8 hours since he had left his flat. He smiled and took everyone’s orders for his round. Before he stood up he saw Nick come in, he looked gorgeous Harry thought in his grey jumper with elbow patches and black jeans, he ran his hand through his hair and scanned the bar, his stopped when his eyes landed on Harry’s and they just watched each other for a few seconds smiling. Nick could feel his heart pounding again and he walked over and practically lifted Harry off his feet in a hug, kissing him softly on the neck and lips. “Get me a drink please, before I vomit” Aimee shouted at them and Harry giggled “yes ma’am”. 

Harry was stood beside a tall handsome boy with blonde hair quiffed up and a checked shirt on, he’d seen him at Gellz party “s’cuse me mate can I squeeze past you” Harry said smiling. The boy looked down at him face emotionless. “So, you’re Grimshaw's latest twink?” he grinned and took a sip of his drink. Harry eyed him with confusion “Oh, don’t look so naive, you’re one in a long line of fuck buddies for that guy, don’t think you’re special, he’ll be off with someone else tomorrow”. Harry felt like the breath had ben knocked out of him. “what the fuck would you know?”. The boy smirked....”been to his fancy Primrose Hill flat have we?....met the dog have we?...we’ve allllll been there sweetpea, he has got a nice big dick though” Harry took a step back, and turned, he walked back to the table and picked up his coat hands shaking. Nick looked up at him “everything okay sweetheart”. Harry couldn’t even make eye contact with him and turned to Niall “I have to go Niall”. His face was so hot and he could hardly swallow as he strode out the pub and up the street. 

Nick looked around for a minutes confused and got up to follow Harry, he only noticed Matt, an old acquaintance of Pixie’s, who he had fucked a a few months before he met Harry. He had been catty from the get go and hadn’t appreciated Nick not calling him after. Pixie had told Nick all about how messed up he was after they’d fucked, nice one for not telling before I took him to my flat he had thought. “what the fuck did you say to him” Nick shouted grabbing Matt by the collar, Matt looked a bit shocked but still managed to smirk “oh we were just discussing dimensions of your dick baby, told him to expect to be replaced any given moment”. Nick pushed Matt with force back into the bar and ran out, he couldn’t see Harry anywhere, he called him over and over and it went to voicemail, he left one.....

“Harry, please, trust me, whatever that idiot said to you it’s bullshit. Yes, I had a one night thing with him, but you and me, we....we’re different. I, please don’t ignore me. Jesus Harry. Call me back” 

He didn’t call back. For the next week Harry ignored Nick’s calls and texts and got on with his uni work, he’d go home and so what if he put on love songs and cried himself to sleep, it was pretty much the running order of his life.  
Nick was beside himself, he didn’t open the shop for a week, and stayed in eating leftover chinese food and taking puppy out for walks in the same ratty sweats he’d been wearing for most of the time. He listened to 'Lua' by Bright Eyes on repeat and cursed himself for being such a dickhead. He hated the opinion Harry must have of him from Matt’s comments. Maybe it was fitting though, maybe he didn’t deserve Harry, sweet sweet Harry. Nick lay in bed at night and stroked himself hard to thoughts of Harry’s lips and eyes. He had been lying for hours trying to get to sleep one night, he grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a quick note, then text Aimee...

Grims - I need Liam’s address!  
Aims – I need you to not be texting me at 2am on a Monday.  
Grims – Please Aims....I need you to do this for me.  
Aims – 92 Edgeware Road, Flat 1/2, he’s gonna kill me. 

It took Nick 20 minutes to drive over to Liam’s and he was a very sleepy and very pissed off looking Liam when he answered. “This had better be good” he said. Nick handed him the note “Can you just get him to read this, he won’t answer my calls, I’ve tried going to his flat and everything, please Liam” Liam sighed, “you have no idea what a shit year he’s had with Nate and now this, you’d better be the real deal or I will knock the shit out of you Nick” Nick nodded and left. 

Harry trudged into the studio at 6music on Tuesday afternoon and found an envelope with his name on it. He read it. He put it in his bag. He took it out and read it again. He put it in the bin. He got a cup of tea. He took it out the bin and read it again. He picked up his phone. He put his phone back in his pocket. He put the note back in his bag. 

Nick decided to open the shop on Tuesday, it was a slow day, and he was sorting out some records in the back when he felt his phone vibrate. It was from Liam “you might want to put 6music on”. Nick stood up and dropped his phone then fell over a box of records trying to get to his little digital radio. He turned it quickly to 6music. It was Mark Radcliffe, he listened as a song by the Dum Dum Girls then Brian Jonestown Massacre played, he locked the door of the shop as Mark began to talk, “The next song is a request from an anonymous individual, a gentleman that’s been working on my show for a while, it’s for someone by the name of Nick” Nick’s heart jumped and he clutched at the counter...”this anonymous individual would like to say that he will be there to pick you off the bathroom floor for a long time to come, who says romance is dead eh??” Nick felt a bit dizzy but then....”this is Sweet Jane by The Velvet Underground”. Nick sat on the floor as the song came on and tears came to his eyes, he thought of Harry being there for him, and he thought of his mum and tears turned to sobs. 

After a few more songs, Nick managed to pick himself off the floor and turned to properly close the store, he gasped to see Harry standing looking through the window at him. Nick rushed to open the shop door, Harry powered into Nick’s arms and they held each other tighter than Nick could ever imagine holding anyone. They kissed softly, licking in to taste each other again. “I’m never going to let you go” Nick whispered into Harry’s ear....Harry just held him tighter....and that’s just what he would do.... he would keep on holding on to him....


End file.
